Overcoming the rejection pattern in relationships


Overcoming the rejection pattern in relationships

This free 30 minutes audio is for people who experience some of the following patterns in relationships: 

  • They often find that the relationships with the people they feel most attracted to end up not working - they often experience feeling rejected, unseen, devalued and hurt.
  • They struggle to remain interested in the people who are eager to connect or become more intimate with them, either after a short-lived infatuation or right from the beginning.

    They feel bored, uninspired, trapped and "heavy" within those connections and end up being the one who "rejects" others.

  • They either experience both of these patterns in turn or one of them primarily.

  • They may be single at this stage and struggling to form lasting relationships...

  • ...Or they are in relationships that they are not "sure" about, where they feel ambivalent, not really inspired or fulfilled by them, and sometimes wonder if they are staying in the relationship just to feel safe and comfortable

Your recording is further below - but first I'd like to tell you about a few things:

- What you'll learn in the recording

And I have a couple exciting announcements to make:

- My relationship transformational therapy course called "The Search for Soulmate is the Search for Soul" is starting NOW

- And I'm making the first online workshop of the course open for you to attend FOR FREE. Exciting, right? Read on!



  • Where our strong sense of attraction or rejection of others, comes from in most relationships

  • Why who the other person is, and how they act, is not the primary source of how we feel about them

  • How we unconsciously prevent some of the people we feel most infatuated with, from being able to reciprocate

  • How the ego's need for validation, and our conditioning, trap us behind a "veil of perception" that can leave us eternally dissatisfied

  • How to change our unhealthy “attraction” patterns at a deep, unconscious level, without feeling we have to force ourselves or we're settling for something “boring”

... And much more.

You'll learn about the 5 - months programme I'm offering to work deeply with the Unconscious and create secure, inspiring Love relationship in your life.

It's called The Search for Soulmate is the Search for Soul .

This programme is specifically designed to transform the pattern of rejection described above, for good.

It is for people who are either "chronically" singe or in unfulfilling relationships, in which they feel ambivalent.

IF THAT'S YOU, here's what it can do for you:

It will help you create in yourself the conditions to see, meet and attract people who are a great match at the "Soul-centric" level.

You will be able to:

  • Use the triggers in your existing relationships to clear and update your old patterns and beliefs rapidly
  • Open up to experiencing the depth of Love and connection that you really crave, while feeling safe and balanced.
  • Attract relationships in which you feel seen for who you are, supported to be yourself and to grow into your full potential.

It will use:

  • Hypnosis-based inner journeying and working with "sub-parts" of the personality:

    To identify and heal your unique, deeply embedded beliefs, and the aspects you can't see, which are creating blocks to attracting healthy and exciting love relationships

  • Working with the "Shadow" in the Unconscious, to illuminate it and integrate it

  • The specific mindset practices which will allow you to break free from the ego's defences which are creating barriers to fulfilment in future or existing relationships.

  • Using visualisation in an effective way, and Deep Imagery Work


This programme will teach you in depth:


  • How to work with laser-focus using deep consciousness work, specific mindset processes, visualisation techniques applied to the specific areas of the Unconscious that need to be “balanced” and integrated to open up to deeply felt connection that is also stable, and exciting.

  • How to use the triggers you're meeting in your life to reclaim your freedom, Self-Love and dispel fears of either being inadequate, or being with someone who isn't adequate

The first call of the programme is scheduled on Monday March 26th, 6PM to 8PM.

As there are a few spots left on the course (but don't wait too long to register as there are only 8 spots remaining), I've decided to make this first online workshop an "open" workshop for those who are interested and want to experience what it's going to be like.

This means you can attend this call for free. How amazing is that?!

    In that first online workshop I'll cover:

    • Unconscious patterns that are keeping us stuck and how to work with them
    • Attachment styles (anxious, avoidant, ambivalent) and how to rebuild a secure attachment style
    • We'll start our journey by working with the patterns we experience around physical attraction in relationships
    • I'll describe what the rest of the programme will be about, and briefly get into the topics of the following workshops with the romantic or emotional level, the mental, intellectual level, the social and commitment level, the spiritual and the full relationship integration.

    NOTE: I am only inviting 10 participants on this programme. It is a rare opportunity to work at such depth and in a way that creates true transformation.

    So do register for the first workshop, BUT if you already know you want to be a part of the full programme, visit the programme page and get in touch to secure your spot now.

    There are only 8 spots left and I can't guarantee how many will be left on Monday...

    I'm sending the registration link to attend this FIRST ONLINE WORKSHOP in the 5-months programme for free, to my newsletter subscribers.

    • If you are already a subscriber to my newsletter: you're amazing, thank you! AND you'll receive the link or you have received it already. Check you inbox, my friend!
    • If you are not a subscriber yet, well... you've been missing out! ;) But it's still time to subscribe.

    To join the newsletter and receive the link please fill in the form.
    The newsletter will give you access to the registration link to the workshop, and to receiving more free, transformational videos, audios, and resources. You can unsubscribe at any time.
    I never share anyone's data with anyone else.

    Name *

    And now, without further ado! Ladies and Gentlemen... Enjoy today's recording below :

    You'll hear me fumble with words a bit at the beginning as I get my thoughts together, apologies for that, but things improve after a little while :)

    Relationships are showing us a mirror of our own psyche - the aspects that we find desirable in another help our ego feel safe or valid, while we push away others, without even being aware of it, because what we see of them threatens the “mask” our ego has learnt was the safe one for us to be accepted.

    It’s not the reality of who they are - just what our ego is afraid of, and fixating on, looking at people through a veil of perception that can cut us off from the deepest, most magical love and fulfilment.

    So in many relationships the central agenda is the ego’s. If there is an insecure sense of one’s own value in relationships, that creates a strong attachment to being with a certain type of person in order to feel “good enough” — and that puts a lot of pressure on those relationships.

    However there are processes which connect with the Unconscious and the nervous system’s conditioned response, and go to the depth required to move towards a “Soul-centric” way of relating and step out of this deeply engrained ego dependency.
    — Jessica Wallace

    If you like this recording and the way I talk about in-depth transformation of the way we engage in relationships...

    Check in with yourself to see if it's time for you to face and resolve what's been holding you back for so long from real, fulfilling, healthy, inspiring and deep Love.

    (I know I sound a bit grand -- perhaps that's because after having done this work myself, I am in love myself, after years of struggling in rejection patterns! So I can tell you what it's like first hand. It feels different, it feels deep, inspiring, and both safe and exciting... I'll tell you a bit more about it in the workshop on Monday!)

    I know it's possible to change those old patterns that you keep experiencing over and over again. I can tell you why they are there and what to do about them. When you have the right processes, it doesn't take very long.

    What is 5 months, when you've been frustrated in relationships for years?

    If that sounds like something you want to take part in, don't wait too long to register for the programme. All the info is here.

    And once again, if you feel like attending the first workshop for free on Monday March 26th, fill in this form to get on the newsletter and receive your link.

    Name *

    I can't guarantee that there'll still be spots available on the course by then though, as there are only 8 left... So if you know you want to take part, check out the course page here and get in touch!



    Audio recording: Beyond Self-worth


    Audio recording: Beyond Self-worth

    In this audio recording, you will learn about how our conditioning and our mindset impacts our sense of self-worth, our tendency towards self-criticism and fears of other's judgment, and how to free ourselves from these patterns.


    Help your subconscious mind open to love and fulfilment in relationships


    Help your subconscious mind open to love and fulfilment in relationships

    This is the recording of a webinar I offered a couple weeks ago, called "Your unconscious in relationships". I'm now making it available as an online mini-workshop.

    It's designed to support you in connecting at a deeper level with how you are unconsciously "re-creating" certain types of situation in your romantic and interpersonal relationships -- so that ultimately you can create what you deeply desire!


    Why lean towards the feelings (especially when you want to run away) - The Story of Emily and the Pile of Rubbish


    Why lean towards the feelings (especially when you want to run away) - The Story of Emily and the Pile of Rubbish

    Emily was closing her eyes and told me she felt really heavy around the head. 

    She kept saying she felt “like a big dustbin”

    She felt useless, empty, “like I have nothing to give”.

    This is the story of Emily and the very symbolic imagery that her Unconscious provided to relate her inner experience, having "learnt" at a deep level, as she had, a false story about her value, which had profoundly damaged her perception and sense of Self. 

    Here's how we worked with it to allow it to unfold, and shift, so that Emily could start to regain her power, through finding and summoning her courage, strength and compassion.

    Just as I've been working on preparing a course called “Reclaiming the Shadow of the Feminine” lately, I had a session with this client yesterday in which a clear “Shadow” part of the Self spontaneously emerged for us to work with.

    We started the session with the intention to work with feelings of inferiority that Emily (name changed) was experiencing.

    Those were very familiar feelings. In that instance, they had been triggered recently by another mum that Emily felt was avoiding her and had averted her head as she was taking her children to school.

    Tuning into those feelings was what made Emily say she felt "like a pile of rubbish".

    She felt a lot of shame and frustration.

    She was connecting with an aspect of her childhood conditioning coming from her parents, in particular her father's, way of treating her.

    She felt very confused. She was experiencing that "sensory memory", in her body's felt sense, of being made to feel like she was nothing, but at the same time, that there were a lot of expectations placed on her, and that she had to be really amazing.

    As I guided her to visualize this with inner imagery, Emily said she had an image of a part that was floating in space, a big pile of rubbish, which didn't have a body.

    “It looks really permanent, like it's always been that way, and it can't change”, she said.

    Emily was feeling indifferent towards it, “Because it looks not really important. It's made of bits of old paper, banana skins – stuff that's not needed.”

    "What am I supposed to do with that?" She was asking. "I don't know what to do!"

    Emily felt very confused and almost panicked about it.

    I guided her to simply be present to how she felt about the fact that there was that part “in her”.

    I explained that it was a disowned part that looked like rubbish because she (Emily) had been taught to feel that way about a part of herself. It had been “cast away” in the Shadow and had started to look “ugly”.

    “As long as the rubbish is there, I can be overlooked by others.” said Emily “My feeling is, I have to hide it. And I also judge it in myself.”

    I invited her to touch it and to tune in and explore everything she felt about it, including all her “negative” thoughts.

    “The rubbish is not too bad”, she shared, “it's just the fact that it's always there... That makes me feel powerless. And it's very shameful – I don't know what to do with it. I kind of would like to get rid of it... I'm confused with what is “the right thing to do”... But I can't show anyone. It feels heavy and annoying.”

    I invited her to not try to “do” anything “with it” but to simply be really present and stay focused on the experience of her own feelings, and to feel into how that part was feeling.

    Leaning towards it, rather than pushing it away.

    “She can't speak, she doesn't have a mouth. But she has a face now. She feels like she's a big failure, and like she's really annoying. She wants to shut down, and feels nervous.”

    Emily went on: “The “pile of rubbish” part feels scared, terrified actually. She's ashamed and guilty.

    She's used to feeling those feelings on her own so it's unfamiliar that I'm here with her now."

    As she continued to bring her presence and to listen, Emily reported some changes:

    “She has a face now. She looks like a damaged person. A face but no body. She can't speak, she just looks out.”

    I was amazed once more at how literal the symbolism of the Unconscious always is. These aspects were describing a lot of Emily's experience, of not having a voice but having to be on the look-out, of feeling damaged and not embodied.

    “She can't feel anything, there's no connection... She just doesn't want to be seen so that people won't hurt her. She doesn't even know if she wants to live, doesn't really have an opinion.”

    Then suddenly Emily exclaimed “I just made a connection... Looking through the eyes, I see a body – it's just a cuddly baby's body!”

    Emily was in tears now. “Just a baby who needs to be cuddled! It can't be that hard, surely!” She was almost indignant.

    And then: “She has been so used to it, me not seeing her. She's been wanting connection, but feeling cautious in case it never came, or was taken away.

    After a while of giving the baby the affection and love that she needed, and reassuring her that it wouldn't be going away now, I asked Emily, what was the rubbish like ?

    “It's no longer looking like rubbish”, she said. “It's like a a grey cloak. It has protected her, kept her warm and kept her invisible to the eyes of the world. It's protected her from harm. But it was so tight and she couldn't move, she was completely constricted inside that.”

    I invited Emily to let her baby part know that she was safe now, that all those years of the past didn't have to be relived.

    “She has you and the love and safety of your present-day adult self to hold her whenever she needs.”

    I then asked Emily to look and see what the gifts of that part may be? Emily said she was now smiling, playing – even though she was not sure how to, she was feeling safe and laughing.

    Her gifts, which Emily now felt much more connected to, were joy, playfulness, and a sense of safety.